How Do You Want To Be Remembered?

 During a deep philosophical discussion in my late 20s, a friend once asked me, "Dave, how do you want to be remembered?" I'd never really thought about it before and the question caught me off guard, so there was a slight pause before I answered, "Uhh...I dunno....hopefully a long time from now?" We both had a laugh at my answer, but when I deflected the question back at him, it was clear that he had given it some real thought. I always considered that a question reserved for famous athletes, Hollywood actors, or past presidents, but I started to realize it's something we all deserve to ask ourselves. In fact, maybe we're obligated to ask.

                
                Ever more people today have the means to live, but no meaning to live for.
                 ~Viktor Frankl


 As human beings, we all yearn for meaning. We want meaning in our work, meaning in our relationships, meaning in our memories, and meaning in our lives. The meaning of each may change and evolve, but the need to attach meaning is constant. It's something we do subconsciously, without even thinking, so we get stuck with our default thoughts and categorizations, and then we immediately begin to accept them as truth. Think how easy it is to believe that work sucks, my relationship is going nowhere, my past is haunting me, and life is a bitch. Are these things really true? Or have we just repeated them in our minds so often that they feel like the truth? It doesn't matter, because whatever the story of your life may be, it is never too late to change it.


   Get out a piece of paper and write down 10 things you'd like to be remembered for. No one has to see this list but you. How would you like to be remembered as a father? A mother? A daughter? A son? An employee? An employer? A husband? A wife? A teacher? A mentor? A caregiver? An example? A companion? An activist? A sports fan? A nature lover? A car buff? A stamp collector?
The list is endless, there are no right or wrong answers, and it will give you more clarity on how you'd like to be remembered, and more importantly, how you'd like to live. You may be shocked to realize what is really important to you, but the list won't lie. If you write it down, there's a reason for it. This is a great tool for digging out what you really care about, when it so easily gets covered up by everyday life.

  When I look back at that guy in his late 20s, I know that I wanted meaning in my life. But now that I'm in my 40s, with a wife and two kids, that desire has only increased. Life no longer seems like an endless road sprawling out before me, but I value each moment much more than ever, and that's a trade off that I'm completely cool with. I've also learned to be proactive and attach the meaning to things that I want them to have, without letting subconscious thoughts or fleeting emotions do it for me. You can't choose all of the events in your life, but how you perceive them and what you do about them is always your choice.

   As  a person who loves to asks questions, a question is like "How Do You Want To Be Remembered?" is just too juicy for me not to ponder. The answer may change and evolve, but I think it's a great question to ask yourself on a regular basis. I know the answer would have been different in my 20s, but if I have to answer today, I'd like to be remembered as someone who helps other people figure out what they'd like to be remembered for.